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How To Attract A Hot Girl Without Chasing Her

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Attract a hot girl

As you sit there, heart pounding, trying to figure out how to get the attention of that sista you’ve had your eye on for a while.

How do you get her to notice you?

Yes, you are interested in her, but on the flip side: do you have what it takes to DRAW HER TO YOU?

Disclaimer, if you are looking for a hot pick-up line, sorry fellas, swipe left. Instead, we advocate bettering yourself and improving your life holistically in order to attract the right person.

Look at it this way, here’s the memo on what they’re not telling you.

The Memo For Modern Men

Dating is interpersonal marketing. Just like in marketing, there are two broad ways to go about it: You can chase girls – outbound marketing – or, you can make them chase you – the dating equivalent of inbound marketing.

If you’ve experienced rejection multiple times throughout your life, you’re in for a treat. This is the answer. As you will quickly discover, ‘getting a hot girl’ is as straightforward as creating a strong inbound marketing campaign. Only this time, the product you’re marketing is you.

Aesthetics, success, respect

To craft a foolproof strategy, you need to break down what makes a man attractive to its most basic, actionable ingredients: Aesthetics, career success, social savviness and respect.

If you have all four, you’re irresistible, a real-life James Bond. A good-looking, financially secure man who does well socially can attract nearly every girl he wants. Even better? He doesn’t even have to try, as they usually come looking all by themselves.

Frankly, it pays to invest in all three aspects of your life. Now, just like in real inbound campaigns, your efforts won’t miraculously succeed overnight.

Keep working on yourself

Every personal record you hit inside the gym, every professional promotion you get, and every single fun event you attend is like producing another piece of content.

You’re sending out signals. You’re throwing nets to catch fish. Sometimes content goes viral; sometimes it doesn’t stick. The same is true of inbound dating. Give it time, and keep working on yourself.

Put simply, the success of your campaign corresponds to how many women get hooked on your new marketing strategy.

Send the right signals

They’re not your end goal, but rather lagging indicators of your success. If you shift your focus from chasing girls to sending out the right signals and if you stop obsessing over delivering the right pick-up line and improve your life holistically, you will undoubtedly attract plenty of women.

Today there’s plenty of self-improvement content readily available. You can find workout programs and special diets through a simple google search. Likewise, improving your career prospects and building up your social network.

Where most people fail is applying it. But you won’t. Right? Here’s how you do it: You set small, attainable goals and then you commit to them as if a gun hangs above your head. These goals may be as simple as completing a training course twice a year.

Or, you may prefer to bond with your social group further and improve your social skills. In all cases, do your due diligence, and before you know it, you’ll be living a much more rewarding life.

Final thoughts:

The bottom line is simple: So long as you organize yourself around improving your aesthetics, your career, and your social skill set, you will get a return on your investment with women.

Build a rock-solid strategy, execute it consistently and your value as a man will skyrocket. It’s hard, but it pays better than any cheesy pick-up line ever will.

Photo credit just for fun: Instagram @Teyanataylor

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Sex & Relationships

5 Cool Virtual Date Ideas Every Guy Should Try

Fredrick Ochami

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Not physically being with your partner can take its toll, just ask any couple in a long-distance relationship and they will tell you first hand.

The coronavirus pandemic has forced many couples to be in isolation and being physically apart means we have to get creative with keeping the spark alive.

Since there’s no pressure to go out somewhere fancy, your wallet will thank you and because it involves activities that you’ll both be actively participating in, you can get to know each other just a little bit more!

So, check out some of the coolest virtual date ideas below!

Cook Together

If you were planning to cook for your date—or your date had promised to cook for you—cooking together works. Just decide on a meal, which can be as complicated or as simple as you’d like.

Then have a video chat with each other as you prepare the ingredients and follow the recipe. Then, when you’re done, eat at the same time. The result doesn’t have to be spectacular; if you make a mess, you can even laugh about it. With this, your date night can be quite memorable.

Movie Night

This one is a no-brainer. Movie nights are essential to most couples, and being away from each other doesn’t change that.

The trick is to watch a movie together and depending on how much concentration the movie demands, you can chat with each other as you watch it.

A nifty app that you can use is Netflix Party. This is a Chrome extension that creates a group chat function and synchronizes video playback with whoever you’re watching with.

The rest is up to you; though we recommend watching a movie that’s hilariously bad or just plain funny. You can also watch each other’s favorite films.

Virtual Happy Hour

Happy hour is usually one of the best parts of Friday evening or the weekend. And if you and your partner drink, you can still enjoy this time together; just organize a virtual happy hour!

You can enjoy any drink of your choice, whether it’s a beer, a glass of wine, or even crafting your own cocktails! Then you can chat with each other for as long as you’d like.

If you need cocktail ideas, just search #cocktails on TikTok and you will find a ton of recipes you can try. Add the game ‘truth or drink’ to the mix and we are pretty sure things can get pretty interesting.

Virtual Game Night

If you’re still getting to know each other, few activities are as exciting—or insightful—as game night. It will help you to relax, be more comfortable around each other and know each other better.

You can opt for everyone’s favorite games, like – Never Have I Ever, Charades, or Truth or Dare. Alternatively, you can try something else like trivia.

If both of you like video games, you can even go online and play cooperatively or versus each other. This should keep you both at the edge of your seats, and it will be fun for both of you!

Virtual Vacation

You might be unable to meet your partner for the foreseeable future that doesn’t mean you have to avoid traveling altogether.

Thanks to a little thing called the Internet, you can arrange a virtual trip for both of you. It might not be as exhilarating as the real thing, but you will still get the chance to experience some of the most beautiful places in the world. And the best part is you’ll hardly spend anything.

Trips include a getaway to the Taj Mahal, an excursion to Yosemite National Park, a trip to Machu Picchu in Peru, and more. Need some more virtual vacation ideas click here.

By the way, the ladies over at Emilycottontop came up with 10 virtual date ideas as well, some of them were stolen from us but if you need more ideas, check out this post.

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Sex & Relationships

How To Overcome Anxiety In The Bedroom

Fredrick Ochami

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Okay here’s the scene: Several months into the relationship and you and your girl are on a weekend getaway. You had great dinner and night out at the resort, you are back at the hotel and about halfway through the movie, she makes the first move.

 

Now you a true playa but at the same time, you are petrified about your next move. Why? Because you already know that each move you make from here is getting you closer to the promised land [Insert J. Cole Wet Dreamz here].

That’s a good thing right? Wrong – because you horrified by the realization that your performance is wack.

The Memo For Modern Men

Many men have experienced performance anxiety at some point in their lives. Perhaps you have a new love interest and you’re nervous about not being up to her standards in the bedroom.

Or it could be a special occasion for your better half and you set high expectations for yourself. Whatever the case, it’s perfectly normal to feel like this.

However, if it occurs frequently, it might start to become an issue as it affects our quality of life, so here’s the memo.

There are a few ways to overcome anxiety in the bedroom. If you’re going through it, we recommend trying the five we have listed below.

Love Your Body

Not every man has six-pack abs and a killer body. Most of us are packing a little too much weight in the wrong places. We might also worry that we aren’t big enough down there.

If we feel insecure about this, we might worry about our partner not finding us attractive and this, in turn, can lead to low confidence in the bedroom.

To overcome this, it’s important to love your body.

A good way of doing it is to look at yourself, take note of the things you like, and repeat the process every day. This will help you to see yourself in a more positive light.

Be Imperfect

A lot of times, we try to be perfect in the bedroom. If it’s a new partner or a special occasion, especially, we can try to make it as perfect as possible.

But some men set the bar way too high. Our definition of perfect might be doing things only a porn star is capable of, yet we could see anything less as not being good enough. This kind of pressure can easily lead to anxiety and set us up for failure.

At the end of the day, we have to realize that we’re only human. We don’t have to be sex gods to have a good time.

Say What You Feel

You could be feeling especially anxious and might be constantly worried that you won’t measure up to your partner when it matters. Well, one way to overcome that is to talk about it.

Sharing your concerns will undoubtedly take courage, and you might feel a bit awkward revealing something that personal. However, your partner will most likely let you know that it’s not such a big deal.

They might even help you through it, either verbally or through their actions. This way, even if the worst happens, your partner will understand.

Try To Be Different

For a lot of people, bedroom matters usually follow a linear path. This starts with making out, progresses to oral, goes to penetration, and then ends when both of you climax.

This doesn’t always have to be the case. You can do it how you’ve always done it, switch things up, or even try something new. Nothing is set in stone.

Trying something different is always a good starting point.

You can also try to focus more on your partner than yourself. This way, however you perform, she will still be satisfied.

Work Out

For a lot of men, performance anxiety comes from how you perceive your looks. If you just feel too insecure about it, you can always change it to what you want. No matter how old you are, it’s never too late to get in shape.

You don’t even need a chiseled figure. Just seeing progress will almost certainly help you love how you look and make you feel more confident in yourself.

It can also improve the performance of “all” your muscles since it improves blood circulation throughout your body.

What are some of the ways you have overcome anxiety in the bedroom? Comment below.

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Sex & Relationships

How To Escape The Friend Zone, What You Need To Know

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How to get out of the friend zone

Yikes! If you’ve been friend-zoned, it means that someone you want a relationship with views you as nothing more than a platonic pal. However, you CAN escape this romantically benign territory and we’ll explain how.

Are you a friend’s errand-runner, favor-doer, ride-giver, time-filler, and shoulder-to-cry-on? Do you secretly pine away for a romance, while she’s content with a purely benign connection? If you’ve answered “yes” to these questions, you’re stuck in the dreaded friend zone.

Is there any escape from this platonic purgatory? Yes! Here are six behaviors to drop in order to escape the friend zone and become more than just a good pal.

1. Stop Being Friends with Benefits

If your friendship includes sex, you may think that this a win, caz getting physical might be a way to transition out of the friend zone. Unfortunately, sex isn’t a relationship waiting room and it’s not a bridge to something deeper.

Instead, your female friend will be sexually fulfilled, possibly by others too, ouch! and your romantic desires won’t be, but you’ll continue hooking up as a desperate way of keeping her in your life. Don’t count on it: you’ve been “put on hold.”

2. Stop Listening to Her Relationship Woes

If someone wants to have a relationship with you, they won’t talk about problems they have in other relationships. They won’t talk to you about the crush they have on another dude. They won’t talk about their sex life.

When you’re the person who is sympathetic, the person who listens and comforts and gives advice, you’re doomed to friendship status. You become the buddy they can gripe to and confide in, instead of a potential love interest.

3. Stop Being so Nice

The word “nice” is bland. It describes someone who is boring. It doesn’t describe someone she’ll walk with on a silvery beach under a star-bejeweled sky while her heart rapturously beats.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk. It means setting boundaries so that they won’t assume you’ll jump anytime she snap her fingers. Some changes you could implement include:

• Don’t hustle to answer their texts, immediately call them back or rush to meet them in person.

• Don’t act like her private limo driver, ready and willing to serve.

• Don’t cancel your plans when she ask you to, especially if she beckons you at the last minute.

• Don’t do chores for her: fixing things, doing her laundry, sorting her recycling.

4. Don’t Be Clingy

If you’re utterly obsessed with this person, your out-of-control feelings may compel you to act clingy. You’re behaving irrationally and suffocating them, but you think you’re merely showing affection.

If anything, this will scare them off, not draw her closer. Some behaviors that could hurtle you into the friend zone are:

• Bombarding them with countless texts, even though they’re unresponsive. And then trying to prompt them with, “Did you get my texts?” or “Are you there?” You’ll come across as a creepy stalker.

• Constantly checking their social media accounts (to see what they’re doing when they’re not around YOU), and liking each and every thing they post.

• Flooding her with presents and compliments, even though there’s no romantic relationship.

• Ditching friends and family to spend time with your pal, even if it’s a holiday or someone’s birthday.

5. Don’t Act Jealous

Let’s say you’ve just come out of a restaurant bathroom to see your buddy flirting with an attractive person. Or they rave about the amazing sex they’re having with their new hookup. Or they gush about the sweet person who cooked them a romantic candlelight dinner.

You might be angered and think, “I’m attractive. Why don’t you flirt with ME?” or “I can please you better than he can. Why don’t you have sex with ME?” and “I’m sweet. I’ve cooked for you. Why don’t you think it’s romantic with ME?”

If you’re consumed with jealousy, but you can’t tell them you like them, these suppressed emotions are a perfect storm for a simmering resentment. You may think you can hide this, but you can be certain that the anger will eventually bubble up like lava.

Since they don’t know why you’re angry, and you won’t tell them, you’ll just seem like an unstable jerk. This is no way to escape the friend zone.

6. Don’t Agree with Everything They Say

A “yes person” doesn’t make an intriguing romantic partner. This is one of the best ways to completely strip yourself of personality. Sure, you agree with everything because you want them to like you and/or not alienate them.

However, without witty banter, without respectfully challenging their opinions or their actions and without having your OWN opinions, you won’t be interesting enough to consider as anything other than a friend.

It’s hard to be around the object of your desires when they only see you as a friend. You’re completely smitten, but you’re in the unenviable position of not being able to tell them.

As hopeless as it seems, though, these circumstances aren’t a permanent prison. Try the six tips above to stop being taken for granted and start life outside the friend zone.

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